One of my school’s goals this year is to engage in Strategic Listening and to lean into Courageous Conversations. We know that the language we use has an impact on students, colleagues, and families. The language we use also reflects our beliefs, and by being intentional on our language choices, we can increase our own self-awareness and shift beliefs. As educators, we must strive to examine our language and beliefs. We must also support each other in this work to help us see our blind spots and to grow as social justice educators; and that happens through conversation. In this post, I want to highlight some ideas from Teaching Tolerance’s Speak Up Guide, in order to synthesize the guide and to share this important resource with others.

“Every moment that bias goes unanswered
is a moment that allows its roots to grow deeper and stronger.
Bias left unanswered is bias tacitly approved.
If you don’t speak up, you are saying, in your silence,
that you condone it.”    – Speak Up Guide

The self-work to prepare for Courageous Conversations begins by taking action. We know that social justice work isn’t just about learning, rather it’s about acting in service to our students. Action includes making a commitment to speaking up and developing a mantra like “I am a person who will speak up.” Self-work includes equipping oneself with questions and prompts and practicing in order to remember useful language and to become more used to using the language. When practicing, aim to be calm, confident, and firm and pay careful attention to your body language and tone of voice. The Speak Up Guide includes these responses and questions (these are direct quotes from the guide):

• That offends me.
• I don’t find that funny.
• I’m surprised to hear you say that
• What do you mean by that? Tell me more.
• Why would you say something like that?
• What point are you trying to make by saying that?
• Using that word doesn’t help others feel safe or accepted here.
• You know, I’ve had a completely different experience with the family/student/older sibling.

In this post, I am focusing on colleague to colleague conversations in particular. Setting the stage by developing relationships and setting Working Agreements is important. It is helpful for staff to understand the difference between Affective- and Cognitive- Conflict. In addition, practice prompts with each other, beginning by using scenarios that are from an outside source. To talk about something that could happen versus something that has happened is an easier place to begin.

Before speaking up, be sure to assess the risk and power differential. If retaliation is a potential result, consider engaging in the conversation or prompt at a later time. Talk to someone you trust to process and decide how to handle the situation next time.

The Speak Up Guide offers four strategies. I am going to briefly summarize them and encourage others to read the guide for a deeper dive. The strategies include:

1. Interrupt. Anytime we let a comment go without responding, we send a message that it is okay to use disparaging language. “Speak up against every biased remark—every time, in the moment, without exception.” (-Speak Up Guide) Make sure to focus on the comment, not the person.
   • That’s not okay to say here.
   • What you said could be hurtful to __.
   • That is offensive. Don’t say it here.
2. Question. Asking questions to explore more can encourage the speaker to engage in reflection around their blind spots. We all hold prejudices and have blind spots. Questioning can also promote a deeper understanding of what the speaker meant, and give you time to decide what to say next.
   • Do you think that statement would bother some people?
   • Can you tell me what you mean?
3. Educate. First, educate yourself to understand terminology and the systems that have been intentionally developed to promote marginalization. Then, when you hear a biased or offensive remark, you can explain what the term or phrase means and potentially offer different language, depending on the context.
   • Do you know what that means? Do you know the history behind it?
   • That bothers me because __.
4. Echo. If one person speaks up, and other people build off of the first person, this has  a multiplicative impact and shows support to the person who spoke up. Many voices can lead to bigger change! The other people can thank person one or paraphrase or restate what person one said. “Thanks for speaking up, Allison. I agree that word is offensive and we shouldn’t use it.” (-Speak Up)
   • I agree. Language like that is very offensive.
   • I think the same thing. Thank you for saying something about this!
   • I appreciate you speaking up.

I look forward to unpacking this learning with colleagues, and I look forward to feedback from my readers. Let us not be silent. Let us speak up in services to our students and our communities. Every action ripples and impacts those around us.

“Do speak up.
Don’t antagonize.
Do keep your eye on the goal:
to keep communication channels open and
help someone realize the effect of biased comments .”
– Speak Up Guide

 

Resources:
Speak Up Guide, Teaching Tolerance