I just finished reading another incredibly informative book, Radical Compassion by Tara Brach. In the book Brach takes the original R.A.I.N. technique (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Non-Identification) and modifies it to include Nurture rather than Non-Identification. Today I focus on a very brief summary of Brach’s R.A.I.N. because I think it has huge implications for how I show up as a coach, a facilitator, a colleague, and a teacher.
Recognize. Notice and get curious about what is happening inside you. Name emotions and body feelings without judgement. Instead of acting to solve, be present in the moment.
Allow. Ask yourself if you can be with this and let it be. Instead of analyzing, fixing, or resisting, tell yourself “this is okay.” Over time this will increase healing and the capacity to pause.
Investigate. Focus on the body with interest. What is difficult? What feelings are showing in the body and how? Often our bodies are giving us a message and this is the time to listen in.
Nurture. Send care and compassion to yourself. This can come from your future self; remembering an activity or memory; a word or mantra; an image of nature or special photograph; calling to mind a pet, loved one, or friend; and/or setting your hand on your heart. You can say something like “This is challenging and you are doing the best you can.”
At times, a person can go through all steps in order. Other times, one may only need/use a few of the steps. Nurture can happen during any step by anchoring in the body, breath, and the ground below.
If I can use these steps as a coach, I can be more present and less reactive when I am in conversation with others. I can see them and the conversation from a learning stance.
“You cannot love
what you cannot see afresh and discover anew.”
– Brach
When I use these steps as a colleague or a teacher, I can truly pay attention and learn what my emotions are telling me and what the other person is communicating to me. This is the source of relationship. In the end, I hope to use R.A.I.N. to be a person who sees the connectedness of all humanity. Because all children are my responsibility.
“One day you will love my son as your own
and protect him when I am not there.”
-Brach
Resources:
Radical Compassion by Tara Brach.